The next time you are melting glass with a blowtorch in the dining room and inadvertently burn a hole in your Ikea table top, you don't have to throw out the table. You can do what I did.
- Find a piece of glass that is somewhat bigger than the burn area and scratch lines in the table around the edge of the glass.
- Peel off the surface of the table with a pair of pliers and remove the torched bits of cardboard honey-combing underneath. Vaccum out the bits of ash and cardboard.
- Gather up plasticine from the craft cupboard and your the little toy pirates you've been saving on the windowsill along with a piece of the honeycombing and a smooth surface that is about the size of the hole in the table.
- While you watch Project Runway Canada, make a sculpture of a giant squid attacking pirates in the ocean on the smooth surface. Use the honeycombing as a maximum height guide.
- Sneak downstairs and use a spatula to place the sculpture in the hole.
- Cover the hole with the piece of glass.
- Go to bed and patiently wait until the next morning to be told that you are brilliant.